My Slightly Different Count Dracula – Chapt. 8: Bar Fight

Click here to read the first seven chapters.


Inside the building the guy led Count Harecula through a dark, short passage before he opened another door.

The barroom was only dimly lit and packed with people. At first Count Harecula didn´t know what was worse: the awful smell that appalled him or the awful noise – music he guessed – that tried viciously to perforate his eardrums.

The guy said something to him, but Count Harecula couldn´t understand a word. He then made a following gesture with his hand and Count Harecula wriggled his way through the dense crowd.

When he finally reached the counter, he saw the guy now standing behind it and opening a bottle of beer which was then put right in front of Count Harecula.


“Here, mate – on the house!” the guy – obviously the barkeeper of this establishment – said and again did that funny thing with his eyelids.

Count Harecula squeezed himself more tightly between a heavily overweighed man with red hair sprouting from his enormous head and a very pretty woman dressed in something so short, that he wasn´t quite sure, if one could still call it a dress. Then he took the bottle and eyed it suspiciously.


“Come on, man”, said the barkeeper, “drink!”

Not wanting to be rude, Count Harecula took a tiny sip from the green bottle and sneezed explosively as the carbonic acid hit his nose, after which he added a loud burp for good measure.

Highly embarrased he excused himself by the woman in the … dress, but she didn´t even seem to have registered his ungalant outburst.

The barkeeper laughed in a not unfriendly manner and reached over the counter to clap Count Harecula on the shoulder.


“Don´t tell me this is your first drink, mate?!”

Since he clearly told Count Harecula not to, he merely shook his head and mumbled something about allergies, whereafter the guy made an understanding face.

Heroically Count Harecula took another sip from his bottle, this one slightly bigger than the first. He then waited a few seconds and when nothing happened, risked to take a third one.

After his sixth sip or so he began to feel mildly warm and a curious sensation creeped up his legs and arms. He also noticed with surprise that the bar didn´t seem to be so unbearable a place anymore and he even stopped minding that most people around here seemed to have confused cologne for water.

Everything was somehow blurred around the edges.

All of a sudden he remembered his date and tried to stand up when he noticed that his legs had gone all wobbly.


“Watch out!” growled the fat man beside him when Count Harecula accidentally bumped into him.


“I beg your pardon, sir,” Count Harecula said, his speech slightly slurred.

Count Harecula thought that maybe a splash of cold water in his face might help him to regain his strength and made his way to the restrooms.

Unfortunately the water didn´t help as much as he´d hoped it would and Count Harecula returned to the counter to fetch the bouquet of red roses he´d left behind. He also wanted to say good-by to the barkeeper and thank him for the drink although he wasn´t quite sure if it had fulfilled the purpose of giving him more courage for his date.

As Count Harecula was just reaching for the bouquet, he witnessed a rather unpleasant scene.


“I said NO!” the pretty woman in the … dress said to the fat red-haired man who´d deftly put one of his hands on her behind.


Count Harecula didn´t really know what was happening to him, but he felt a sudden upsurge of anger rising inside of him.


Before he knew what he was doing, he leaned forward and bit the fat guy in his enormously unappealing rear.

The jeans and… ugh… underwear were an unusual hindrance to him, but his sharp teeth simply sliced through them.

It tasted disgusting!



Count Harecula in Action


The man yowled in pain and turned instantly around.


“What the f*#& !?” he roared and punched Count Harecula in the face.


Count Harecula stumbled, came down on another guy who took offense and shoved him away. Before one was aware of it a fully grown bar fight was going on.


At some point Count Harecula managed to crawl behind the counter. His jaw hurt horrendously and there was something in his mouth …panicking he thought he´d lost a tooth in the fight but soon noticed his mistake when he spit out a piece of cloth.


He looked around but the barkeeper was nowhere in sight.

Cautiously he lifted his head above the counter, saw his miracously undamaged bouquet, grabbed it and slowly retreated on all fours to the back door.


When he finally stood in the backyard, he wondered if any of it would have happened, had he not drunk the beer.



To Be Continued…


19 thoughts on “My Slightly Different Count Dracula – Chapt. 8: Bar Fight

    • Aww – that´s so sweet of you!! Thank you very much, Emilio – you don´t know how much that means to me!! 🙂 I hope I can keep you entertained with the next chapters as well! Wish you a lovely day! Sarah 🙂


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